I’m swimming in words. I get that way when life gets lifey.
A million thoughts, a million feelings that I can’t quite pin down. Like I’m standing in the middle of that game show money machine and can’t even grab one fluttery bill.
So today, my job is to seek some stillness.
I believe everything is figureoutable, but in reality, I don’t have to figure anything out. Because sometimes the harder I try to figure it all out, the less anything makes sense.
What I do know is that everything in my life has worked out so far, in spite of myself.
It didn’t all go the way I thought. Or wanted. Or hoped, or even prayed.
(I think we get a whole coffee hour with God during Orientation to cover prayers specifically.)
But all this life keeps pointing me in the direction of whomever I am supposed to become. It’s all equipping me for whatever ultimate task I am supposed to complete. These myriad, seemingly-arbitrary experiences are somehow, someday, going to appear perfectly clear in the rear view mirror.
But today is not that day. And it’s alright.
On the lifey days, connect with people you love. Offer a kindness to someone (yourself is someone too). Get into whatever air is outside your house. Drink water and eat food. Go to sleep when it gets dark. And do not under any circumstances try to solve any problems. Just… don’t. In your swirly, itchy state you’ll probably just make them worse by poking at them, and stress yourself out even more. And the absolute truth is that those problems will still be the same tomorrow but you will be different – better – for having cared for your head and heart first.
The still of the morning brought me a phrase from a gospel song, one that I have always said to my children a little tongue-in-cheek when they are wailing over a smushed finger or an outrageous sibling injustice.
God says you’re gonna make it.
And I’ll trust it again today because, so far, God’s been right.
HP, J 