February 21

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Still us

By Jessica Allen

February 21, 2023


Somewhere, between diapers and sippys and Bluey and Elmo, between baseball and ballet and preschool and music lessons and Bible study, between toddler meltdowns and teen-sized talks about sex, substances, relationships, and character, between careers and dreams and setbacks and family and worry and prayer, between endless loads of laundry and dishes and counters that will never be clean…⁣

There’s still us.⁣

We’re in the thick of it. We’re in that season where most days feel like an endless cycle of pregame planning, halftime regrouping, and postgame debriefing. We slap post-it reminders everywhere and devote entire text threads to who’s going to be where at what time and with what supplies. Our day-to-day is powered by sheer determination and belief that God’s got a plan worked out for us because we sure as shenanigans have absolutely no idea what we’re doing otherwise.⁣

I’m grateful for every bad day we’ve ever had that teaches us how to communicate like we love each other.

I’m grateful for every ball either one of us has ever dropped that gave the other one a chance to pick it up and run.⁣

I’m grateful for every rough patch that allowed us the opportunity to trust each other until we found safer ground. ⁣

It takes two people (bonus if God’s in the middle) to build a marriage, to commit to it, to mend it, and to build it again, over and over. We’re never done.

Because someday there’ll be no more diapers, sippys, Elmo, or Bluey, we won’t have anyone left to take to practice, and GOD WILLING all those talks with and prayers over our young people will have helped send some remarkable humans into the world, leaving us with just… us. ⁣

I hope I like us even more when we get there. ⁣

Happy Valentines, an embarrassing amount of days late. I hope you liked your One Free Butt Touch coupon because I’ve had to work really hard to speak that language, and also because I loved the sweet and thoughtful note you wrote me – the kind of mush you’ve learned sends my heart soaring. ⁣

Love is an amazing gift AND ALSO marriage and parenting and life can be bad-words-hard. Sometimes back and forth between the two 22 times a day.

Don’t give up. ⁣

HP,⁣ J ❤️

Jessica Allen

About the author

Jessica is a writer, musician, entrepreneur, wife, and mom. Jessica's mission is to write "real" - shining light into the dark places of the tough stuff we all experience. She and her husband Jack live in Houston, Texas and have weathered the storms of grief, infant loss, adoption, and a marriage that almost fell apart. Jessica and Jack have four children: LJ in heaven, Grace, Jackson, and Elisha.

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