October 23



By Jessica Allen

October 23, 2022

I was livid at God for cheating me – for taking my baby, for wrecking my body, for smashing my dreams for the future, for turning me into this hollowed-out mess of a person. I knew I needed that hand holding me under rock bottom, but I hated that hand.

That’s the funny truth about relationships, though. The best ones – friendships, marriages, and God – withstand the tests of our most brutal humanity. Our ugliest anger, our unkindest words, the worst versions of ourselves. These relationships hold water because they’re built on trust and forgiveness.

And there’s no relationship built with more trust and forgiveness than our relationship with our Creator. It’s the hardest yet safest place to turn for solace. And because it’s the safest place to go, I trust that God is bigger than any anger I can throw at Him. He will absorb every blow and return only love and patience and kindness and comfort.

So throw every punch you can in His direction, because He is big enough to take it. As the author and perfector of our faith, God actually loves us even more gently as we challenge him, ask hard questions, and stumble down messy paths to really work out our faith.

Test Him. He will hold. And if you need to walk away, He will be right there, still loving you, whenever you’re ready to come back.

(Excerpt From Joy Comes in the Mourning. This material is protected by copyright.)

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Jessica Allen

About the author

Jessica is a writer, musician, entrepreneur, wife, and mom. Jessica's mission is to write "real" - shining light into the dark places of the tough stuff we all experience. She and her husband Jack live in Houston, Texas and have weathered the storms of grief, infant loss, adoption, and a marriage that almost fell apart. Jessica and Jack have four children: LJ in heaven, Grace, Jackson, and Elisha.

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