December 27



By Jessica Allen

December 27, 2022

This is the time of year the air starts getting really thick with the pressure to get it all together for the magical roll over on January 1.

Here’s the real deal: the clock changes nothing.

What does change things? A person with her mind made up. And that can happen on January 1, or December 29, or July 24, or any random Wednesday at 2:19 in the afternoon.

It has been my real lived experience that we tolerate a lot of things in our lives/relationships/careers simply because we don’t know what to do to change them. Or, the steps required to change them feel infinite and insurmountable. Or, might I be vulnerable here, the fear of pushback or failure feels suffocating.

So we justify our continued tolerance for things we don’t really want with mindsets that sound like:

This is just the way I am/they are/it is.

This is just a phase.

My spouse will never get on board.

It could be worse.

Not everything in my life is going to be perfect.

I can’t afford it/can’t justify the expense.

I don’t have time.

I’ll do it next week/next month/next year.

Ugh. I’m guilty of all of these, past and present, and probably future. But here’s what I know: if you believe these things are true, they will remain true until you decide you’re sick of believing them and that you’re ready to try a new thought instead.

If you do not like what is happening in your life, you have a couple choices.

1. You can choose to tolerate it, and adopt a mindset and lifestyle to minimize your frustration around it. This is valid and people do it every day. I do not like that my four year old crawls into my bed every night, and I know there are legitimate sleep training steps I can take to correct it. But I am flat out exhausted and getting up with another little person in the middle of the night feels more exhausting than just letting him sleep curled up next to me like a kitty cat. This is a problem that will eventually correct itself.


2. You can take steps to change the things you don’t like. It could be something as simple as habit tracking with an accountability and reward system. Or, it might require something more. And if you’ve been looking for a sign to take a gulp-breath-big-step and do something more, THIS IS YOUR SIGN.

Ask for a recommendation for a therapist.

Call that therapist.

Hire a coach. (For health, business, wellness, faith, personal growth, or literally anything. There are coaches for everything.)

Make the doctors appointment.

Call your pastor.

Set up the savings account.

Cut up the credit card.

Delete the contact.

Block the social account.

Tell the truth to someone you trust.

Throw away/dump out/flush it all.

Schedule the hard conversation.

There is nothing magical about the new year. But making the decision to change the trajectory of your life? That’s got magic potential. And then, taking concrete, actionable steps to make the changes you desire? Well my dear, that’s what makes you unstoppable.

To heck with the new year. You’re brand new every minute. HP, J ❤️🎉🥂

PS: Why this picture? Because I’m proud of the choices I made that it involved. (rest, release, and harmony)

PPS: Tough questions to ask yourself: What am I proud of? What am I tolerating, and am I okay with it? What am I no longer willing to tolerate and ready to change?

Jessica Allen

About the author

Jessica is a writer, musician, entrepreneur, wife, and mom. Jessica's mission is to write "real" - shining light into the dark places of the tough stuff we all experience. She and her husband Jack live in Houston, Texas and have weathered the storms of grief, infant loss, adoption, and a marriage that almost fell apart. Jessica and Jack have four children: LJ in heaven, Grace, Jackson, and Elisha.

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